Monday, July 12, 2004

The Two Americas

The Two Americas

by The Gray Dog

"John Edwards based his campaign on the fact that there are two Americas, one for the wealthy and one for everyone else. And after his speech, he thanked everyone else and went back to the America for the wealthy." —Jay Leno

"On the campaign trail today, John Edwards continued to talk about there being two Americas. Unfortunately, neither voted for him." —Conan O'Brien

The Kerry/Edwards ticket has resurrected John Edward’s primary campaign theme: “Two America’s.” Listening to either of the “Darling Democratic Duo” provide a self-portrayal as the next Average Joe, is as enlightening as receiving sex and marriage counseling from a catholic priest. But in fairness, I must admit that the wealthiest national ticket in history didn’t always have big bucks.

John Edwards earned his money by shaking down hospitals, doctors and insurance companies. Quoting from an article titled “Did ‘Junk Science’ Make John Edwards Rich?” written by Marc Morano for;

“ According to the Center for Public Integrity, Edwards was able to win "more than $152 million" based on his involvement in 63 lawsuits alone”

Mr. Morano’s article goes on to state;

"John Edwards' spin is always ‘I am helping the little guy’. But he screened his cases to the point that he only helped people that were going to make him richer," said the source with extensive knowledge of Edwards' legal career

But enough about Senator Edward’s legal ethics. Morano’s article provides the following financial recap of this most average American citizen;

“The judgments or settlements related to medical malpractice lawsuits that focused on brain-damaged infants with cerebral palsy helped Edwards amass a personal fortune estimated at between $12.8 and $60 million. He and his wife own three homes, each worth more than $1 million, according to Edwards' Senate financial disclosure forms.”

Well John, I can certainly feel your pain. You must be exhausted. Having to mow three yards, paint three fences and clean the leaves out of three sets of gutters, how do you find the time to campaign? How will you be able to be an effective Vice President when you already have ‘Honey-do’ lists posted on your each of your three refrigerators? Do you really want to move into the Vice President’s (a fourth) residence? I hear it needs new wallpaper in the bathrooms and kitchen. I’d say you are the right man for the job.

John Kerry on the other hand, earned his money the old fashioned way: He married it! Twice! Hey guys, just think of the kicks you and your buddies would get if you saw your name in an engagement announcement that used the word ‘heiress’ next to your fiancés’ name? The fun might not last very long if she lays a prenuptial on you. But what the heck, if after a few years of wedded bliss you need a change, she wasn’t the only heiress in town. Right?

Is this a cheap shot? Probably. But Kerry himself opened Pandora’s box this campaign season.

Yes John, and you too John, there are two America’s! Perhaps you can just divvy them up and then you can each be president of one of them. But the fact is that neither one of you has lived in my neighborhood for a long time, so don’t come back slummin’, trying to promote your newest version of ‘Roots’.

While I may question your methods, I don’t begrudge you your wealth. I do however rail against your new found noblesse oblige’ attitude that compels you to ride to the rescue of us poor common folk.

You say you want to provide so much to us, yet it is clear you don’t have a clue as to how to go about it. Let’s examine your confusing contradictions:

· You say you want to provide affordable healthcare to all Americans, yet you pursue outrageous jury awards against doctors, hospitals and insurance companies. Who really benefits? TRIAL ATTORNEYS?

· You say you want to provide affordable prescription drugs, yet you persecute and tax into oblivion the pharmaceutical companies. Who really benefits? NO ONE?

· You say you want better education for all students, yet you want Washington to control all of the education dollars and deny vouchers, forcing kids to stay in the same failed systems you decry. Who really benefits? The NEA?

· You want to impose gun control, yet you nominate liberal judges that keep criminals on the streets. Who really benefits? CRIMINALS?

· You say you will create jobs, yet you want to raise the minimum wage, raise corporate taxes, restrict trade, grant paid family leave and enforce costly mandates for employee benefits upon employers. Who really benefits? NO ONE?

· You propose energy independence, yet oppose oil exploration off our coasts and in ANWAR. Who really benefits? The CARIBOU?

· You claim to support family values, while in fact you want condoms in our children’s lunch boxes, support gay marriage and disallow nativity scene’s at Christmas. (Excuse me, ‘Winter Holiday’) Who really benefits? Promiscuous gay teen atheist?

· You state your support of our troops, but if you are elected, would they only be deployed at the discretion of the U.N., France and Russia? Who really benefits? Socialist/Dictatorial/ANTI-American leaders with real interests in Iraq’s oil?

· You decry the ‘attack ads’ of your opponents, while you bask in the vulgarities of supporters such as Whoopie Goldberg and Michael Moore. Who really benefits? HOLLYWOOD?

Go ahead and fill in your own answers. How many of their promises speak to you? How do you benefit with one handout extended to you, while the other one is reaching into your back pocket?

Yes, John/John, there are at least two Americas, and if you are elected we will need at least that many to sort out and implement your schizophrenic proposals that will go nowhere toward benefiting those of us that still reside in the original one.


At 11:00 PM, Blogger Another old dog said...

One Nation Divided
By another old dog
Ok, divided by what? Could it be something as simple as the Media Moguls? Or is has it got something to do with the values & morality of society as it stands in general. A good Lib friend of mine told me awhile back that we create our own reality & I couldn’t agree more. I’ve been doing that for 51 years now, the problem is that they want to make their reality yours in the process.
So now what? Am I to just appease them as the Europeans would do or should I make a stand?
I think maybe I’ll keep my current values; they seem to have worked so far. America is alive & well Gray Dog!


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